There’s no playbook for grief—and no finish line. Grief is deeply personal, and it doesn’t follow a straight path or a timeline. Some days may feel manageable, and others may feel unbearably hard, even years later. You might notice grief showing up in waves, at milestones, or unexpectedly in small everyday moments. However it looks, your grief is valid. Healing isn’t about “moving on,” it’s about learning to live with your loss and carry love forward in your own time and way.

Grief brings a wide range of emotions; sadness, anger, love, confusion, numbness, guilt, relief, gratitude and sometimes all in a single day. You may find yourself crying one minute and laughing the next. This is completely normal. Grief is not one feeling, but a full emotional landscape. Every reaction is part of your heart trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. Give yourself permission to feel it all, without judgment.

After the loss of a child, it can feel overwhelming to talk about what happened. You may not have the words or want to explain anything at all. That’s okay. You are not obligated to share more than you’re comfortable with.

When you do want to talk, simple language is enough. You might say:
“Our baby died suddenly.”
“We lost our daughter to SIDS.”
“We’re grieving the loss of our son and just trying to get through each day.”

It’s also okay to set boundaries. People may not know what to say, and sometimes their words can unintentionally hurt. You can gently let them know what you need (or don’t need), for example:
“I’m not ready to talk about it right now, but I appreciate you checking in.”
“I just need someone to listen, not fix anything.”
“Please don’t try to explain it—I just need to be with someone who cares.”

You can even write a short message, text, or email for friends and family if talking feels too hard.

Your child’s story matters and finding ways to honour them can be a powerful part of your grief journey. There is no right or wrong way to remember. It might look like lighting a candle on special days, planting a garden, wearing a necklace with their name, sharing photos or stories, or starting a fundraiser or tradition in their honour. These acts of remembrance are ways to carry their light forward. Your love continues and so does their legacy.

Yes. Grief can feel incredibly heavy and isolating, especially after a sudden loss. You are not expected to carry it alone. Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a courageous step toward connection and healing. Whether you reach out to a support organization like SIDS Calgary Society, join a local meetup, or talk to someone who has been through a similar loss, support is here for you. We’re here to walk alongside you, however and whenever you’re ready.